Human relationships are usually tried and tested. While some stand the tests of time, others crumble. Relationships however do not crumble in a day, faults often build up over time while some relationships simply have faulty foundations.
There is a need to be sensitive when dealing with people and this does not include friends alone. In a world where savagery seems to be the new cool and everyone says whatever they feel like when they feel like especially in the digital space. It is therefore expedient to consider the feelings of others ALWAYS. Psychologist call it being emotionally intelligent. Many of the problems people experience in their relationship with others could easily be avoided and even solved with SENSITIVITY.
An important question everyone needs to be able to find answers to is this: Can I actually say my friendship with this individual is mutual or do I just assume we are friends? Friendship shouldn’t be forced and someone you call your friend should make you involved in their lives instead of you constantly trying to force your way in at all cost. I have seen people feel angry and disappointed when their so called friends exclude them from major plans and achievements for examples; wedding and relocation.
IS YOUR FRIEND YOUR FRIEND?
Consider the following, you heard about your close friend’s wedding ceremony from a third party other than from the horses mouth. What would you do? I would say other than feeling offended, you should think deeply and consider your friendship with this individual. Many times, we seem to like the idea of being someone’s friend and this could happen for difference reasons; charisma, wealth, way of life, class and so on. We admire them so much that we constantly hurt ourselves in the process of trying so much to be liked by them. We befriend them and whether they reciprocate or not, we are constantly forcing ourselves into their circle whereas they consider us as acquaintances. Does this make them bad people? No! However, we have put ourselves in a situation that could be hurtful. Don’t get me wrong, attraction is a criteria for friendship and there have definitely been instances where the attraction was initially one sided but then the other party reciprocated the likeness eventually. I would would advice that henceforth, pay attention to body languages and unspoken cues by others as well as spoken ones too. As the saying goes, “action speaks louder than words” . Things do not just happen, for one to be excluded from a big event such as a wedding, they must have been excluded from smaller activities in the past. Pay attention!
REACTING TO SITUATIONS SUCH AS THE HYPOTHETICAL ONE ABOVE
These factors do not exhaust the list. There are some friends who do not want you to know about somethings due to personal reasons. Others may be secretive in nature. They are not obligated to tell you what they don’t feel like telling you. You should not force it, rather be sensitive enough to respect such decisions. After all, you probably don’t tell them everything too.
“Be attentive. Be sensitive. Be rational. Respect individual differences.”-Famsey